Read nothing but scary books for days.
-Paranormal serial killers
you get the idea..
THEN at 1:15 am get up..
don’t turn on a single light..
ya know to get something to drink..
grab a few IB and …
wait for it…
Kick the large noisy cooking pot that did not get put back in the cupboard..
ALMOST PEE PANTS..
but refuse to cuz then you will have to go into laundry room and get clean clothes.. and it is dark and super scary in there.
or sleep in peed pants..
THEN.. wait for it
heart still pounding..
See a freaking deer in your back yard..
Again.. nearly pee pants..
Pick heart up off floor
cuz it came out your mouth..
dust it off and swallow..
decide you had better go pee before something else scares you..
STILL don’t turn on a light..
kick your cat.. accidentally of course
Then kick the mouse she was in the process of exterminating..
decide you really don’t have to pee after all..
STILL DON”T TURN ON A LIGHT!!
go back to bed..
Pick up book..
feel little hand caress your DAMN neck..
OMG!! OMG!! OMFG
A kid got into my bed..
THAT my friends is how you scare yourself over and over and over..
and I have no plans to quit reading scary novels.. I am.. believe it or not..
having a grand damn time..
I am not however walking down the hall in the dark without shoes on EVER again.. lol
I do not like the feel of mid-exterminated mouse on my bare toes..
I will pee in the morning..
WAIT.. *Editors Note
Hear a REALLY scary noise in the back porch..”I don’t need no gun..zombies are not real..”
wait.. all the dogs are inside.. what the HELL could it be????
go to the back door..
This time TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS!!! I got wise..
(hopes light will scare what ever it is away)
listen at back door… hear something coming and going through doggie door… and did i mention ALL the dogs were sleeping inside and accounted for?
What could it be…
yuppers.. my sheep were out of their pen..
OMG OMG OMG..
Lock sheep in porch cuz “No way in HELL am I herding them back to the barn at 1:45 am..” nope.. not gonna..
go change pants.. Laundry room way way way less scary now..
I am going to go read some more..
that was some scary done right folks..