I plain flat wore myself out the past 18 days.
Physically, Emotionally, Mentally.
I got a lot done in all areas.
I squared some things away.
I decided to work on some things ..and put others aside.
my body heart and mind are doing some suffering for all their efforts.
I am black and blue inside and out.
Battered and beaten and torn.
Piecing myself back together little by little, bit by bit.
I found things in me I did not know were there.
Things I did not know I needed or wanted.
Found things to demolish and things to build with.
I think I found one important thing this past few weeks.. something I can trust… something to believe in… something I cannot even talk about yet… it is far away in the future but standing so close I can almost reach out and touch it..
We’ll just have to wait and see.
But I am Taking time to rest and have faith in all of it.. the good and the bad and the right and the wrong.. the pain and the joy.. where ever it leads I think it is here now to allow me to rest at least for a while.
And he will never acknowledge it.. Never.. never.. never.