Yesterday afternoon.. evening… I called my husband with and for information.. and since there is much to do when he gets home I tried to let him know what needed doing and which of us needed to do what.. asked him when he was going to be home, let him know the hot water heater was paid for and at my dads.. . told him where each of the children would be and who he needed to pick up and where I would be and who I would pick up
This is a perfectly normal scenario in any other normal average home just about anywhere..
He just decided to play stupid.. to pretend that he could not pick up our youngest daughter from my friends.. get this.. because he did not have a car seat in his truck.. and ok.. ok.. he has NEVER had a car seat of his own in his truck.. BUT.. also.. get this.. when we go somewhere in his truck.. I put the car seat IN his truck.. and even tho never in 15 years.. have I had him go pick up one of our kids from somewhere.. you would think.. really.. you would.. that he would think that I would leave the car seat for him.. or he would ASK me to..
ya know.. knowing him like I do.. I can safely say.. he just does not want to pick the kids up.. he wants to come home to an empty house and sit here and drink..
I let him get away with the whole car seat stupidity.. I just laughed at him.. I said “Fine, leave baby girl at my friends, but pick up your older daughter” LOL.. she does not need a car seat.. and he could not argue with me. well.. he could have but I cut him off before he could get a good start…
The conversation did not end well.. they never do..
We had several more conversations yesterday evening..
One where he asked how my friend and her husband were getting along.. and I said .. well.. fine.. no better or worse than usual I suppose.. .. LOL and I asked him why he wanted to know.. and OMG.. he says to me.. This is just gonna baffle ya.
“well, MY KIDS are spending so much time there.. I am wondering if it is a good environment for them to be in.”
WELL FOR FUCKS SAKE!!
First.. Fuck You..
Second.. I have the utmost faith in my friends
Third.. LOL.. Fuck you..
Fourth.. I know that my friends have and will continue to treat my children with love while they are at their house. Far more than YOU do you asshole..
Fifth.. I have no doubts in my judgement in these people.
Sixth.. Fuck you
Seventh.. well.. first fuck you.. then.. They are MY kids you fuck.. they do not spend that much time anywhere with anyone but with ME.
Eighth… Just what kind of game are you thinking your playing?
Ninth.. Have you ever considered the environment YOU create for these kids? have you you jackass?
Tenth.. Just.. ya know.. Fuck You.. ok.. yea.. that’ll do.
ok.. done with the numbering thing.. that could go on for a while..
But…..He has never in 15 years called them “my kids” He knows the kids are ours.. or Mine, referring to ME.. they are my job.. my territory and MINE.. and I told him all this.. I hold nothing back with him.. and I pull no punches.. and I really got no good answer.. I even asked him straight out.. “What kind of game are you playing? Have you been talking to your skanky brother? a divorce lawyer? These Kids are ours or MINE and it is too late in the damn game for you to start claiming you know what is best for them.. ”
And then the light came on for me.. a bright flash…
He.. is upset that I am going somewhere.. yes.. that was it.. he does not like that I am gone so much and doing things.. LOL
Once I figured this out.. I did try to let him know when I would be home..
and again the game started..
He said “it is not that important” LOL
but.. it was.. it really was.. lol.. cuz when I said.. “Fine.. I’ll just go out and come home at 4 am.. like you did” he got very upset.
since I am running out of time here this morning.. I am going to leave it there for now.. and remind myself to come back.. and tell you what he had to say about “Going out” and his definition of it.. it is insane..
The rest of our phone conversation started out as the usual damn game of me saying I needed to get off the phone and him sitting there silently.. and there is some standard time in seconds in which a person will either respond to you.. or it means they did not hear or they are ignoring you.. and I cannot remember what it is.. but I kinda give my husband like 20 seconds to respond.. if I have the patience..
Last night I did not..
I said I had to go.. he said nothing… I waited.. said it again.. nothing.. I hung up
a few minutes later the phone rings..
I said “hello” and he said nothing for 30 seconds..
This is just a damn game of control now..
so I hung up
he called back.. and did say hello.. so I said What..
I swear.. he said nothing.. sat there silently..
SO I told him..
When I say goodby.. that is your cue to say it back.. and when you do not I will assume you are not going to or have hung up.. I give you 3 times the normal human response time.
I asked him .. “do you know how much of my life I have spent WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY GOODBYE OR ANSWER A BASIC FUCKING QUESTION?” 24 seconds later.. “no…….”
me… “Too damn Much”
Done done done done done.. I told him it was done.. he could answer or at least say good bye on the phone like a normal person..
I said I was done waiting.. would give him the 3x standard wait time..
and then I was FUCKING DONE.. I would hang up/walk away
he is SO NOT HAPPY. .but the fucker responded in time..