Lazy.. or Zen

I did not feel like doing anything..

no walk

no run

no yoga

was lazy

I did, however go in search of the Mare’s headstall.. or some call it a bridle.. and I did find it.. and it was a MESS!  as was all my tack..

I spend the day fixing that..

I even shined the silver.

I brought my saddle in and it is sitting on the rack in my dining room.. waiting for me to get to work on it.. Tomorrow.. not tonight..

not sure why I have so much energy one day and so little on another..

I have no plan for tomorrow.. cleaning house.. go shopping.. workout..who knows.. I will figure it out when tomorrow gets here I guess.

I am ambivalent.. I got my feelings hurt by a Friend the other day..and it has been a long time since I let anyone hurt my feelings.. and I am finding that I want to be really closed to that person.. shove them just far enough away that they can feel I am doing it.. but I do not want to engage in old habits.. I also do not want to encourage anyone to hurt or disrespect me.  CRAP.. I am going to have to actually TALK to this friend.. express my feelings.. and let it be known I won’t be available to be hurt like that again.. It ends friendships.. I spent too many years letting people use me.. abuse me.. and just generally treat me like a door mat.. and if standing up for myself costs me this friendship.. then I guess it was not all that good for me in the first place.. at least not any longer.. not at any cost.. not at the cost of my self-respect and self-esteem..

I deserve better than that..

I think I will clean my saddle first.. lots of good thinking gets done while doing something like that.. and go riding..I never get off that mare un-centered.. unless it is directly onto my ass.. lol

I like horses way more than people most of the time.. my horse, she has dumped me on my ass a time or two over the years.. and taught me a lot about myself.. but NEVER has she hurt me out of disrespect or just for fun.. or to serve her own needs.. or.. for no reason.. like people seem to do.

was zen..

black sheep


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