dear me.. dear blog.. *note to self….

*notes to self..
in my last post I was talking to myself!
and about myself!
i am always the one who is hardest on me.
I sit up in the night and ask myself..
I say “self.. What you doing?”
and in the deep dark part of the night self says
“how the hell do you think you are going to manage all this?
…who do you think you are anyhow?
… you are not good enough or strong enough!”
and I have to quit listening to myself in the dark part of the night.. 3am me is feeling all the crippling self doubt and anxiety I spent shoving down all day..
*notes to self are just that.. just things I have to say to self.. the 3 am me.. the sad doubting little black sheep.. who is scared and alone..

*this has been my place for a year now to talk to you.. and myself.. and I know that in the next few months.. there is going to be a LOT of *notes to self from the 3am scared little black sheep..
but I KNOW that the Black Sheep who gets up in the morning.. will be strong and face each day with all the courage and faith she can.. gathered from the future she knows is right for her and her kids.. and from the family and friends she knows loves her and believes in her.. even if her choices are not exactly what they would chose..

I am facing today as bravely as I can..

Black Sheep

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to dear me.. dear blog.. *note to self….

  1. pondscum1 says:

    Its good to write it and get it out of the system. Write your fears but do not live them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s