Trying to find my faith

I made some forward progress today..
I went to the new place and put in all the posts for the horse pasture..
I feel like I am at least moving forward..
Tomorrow I am going over to begin cleaning the house.
And while Son and I are there we will get insulators on all the posts so all that will be left will be to run line. That way if it becomes necessary to move early this is one less stress on me.

I am working HARD to reconnect with my faith in myself..
(cowboy or no cowboy)
I can do this.. or so I keep telling myself.. and I do know I can.. I do.. I can.. the kids and I will be fine..

I have to have faith and trust in myself before I can have faith and trust in someone else.

I lay in the barn next to the horses stall for a while.. just breathing the same air she does.. trying to stop trying so hard.. trying to let the peace wash over me..
Letting the calm.. the faith.. I found in there so many times come find me..
I can do this..
I can do this!!
I can let Faith find me..

I have to have faith and trust in myself before I can have faith and trust in someone else.

what I am doing.. is one of the hardest things I have done in my life.. and I have had to pretend it is nothing.. to almost everyone.. and I forgot I could come here.. and be me.. say what I need to say.. talk to myself..

I have to have faith and trust in myself before I can have faith and trust in someone else.

very shaky little lost black sheep

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One Response to Trying to find my faith

  1. pondscum1 says:

    HUGE step today! Do only for yourself, and your family’s, for a bit. Don’t even try to shrink your actions. Your faith is in your goals. Stick to the goals.

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