I have given up or thrown away or left behind or have had taken away from me…
My farm, my title of wife, my home, darling rena, dearest patty…
I have been moved and tossed,, tumbled and torn.. and hurt, heart body and soul.
my mind is more free..
my soul is lighter but somehow damaged
and my heart is a mess from the loss.
Even the loss I wanted and needed and desired is LOSS..
Change even for the better is still change and it brings its own challenges.
My body has been pushed way beyond its limits and has quit on me and one of the loses I feel most keenly is my flexibility. I miss my physical strength.. I miss yoga and walking and running and riding.. bending and just being able to get out of a chair without pain.
oh I know it will get better.. it already is.. but it is frustrating to have all this loss and to not be able to physically pursue my pain..
Sitting here this morning missing that fat limpy little dog who gave so much to me.
Black Sheep.. wounded black sheep..